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Temp Car Insurance Saved Me From Bridezilla

Let’s face it, I am not the world’s biggest ladies man. Working as a park ranger in the deep wilds of Derbyshire doesn’t exactly do anything for my social life. The only females around this neck of the woods are the four-legged variety. I was getting sick and tired of eating beans and hotdogs every night. Getting a woman who could cook a great meal became my objective. How could I get a woman out here in the wilderness?

Desperate Men Do Desperate Things

Desperate times call for desperate measures. That includes finding a woman using unconventional methods. Some of the men around here swear by mail order bride catalogues. At first, I pictured a bikini model popping out of a box with a shipping label. Then the guys gave me a catalogue of available women looking for men from all over the world. I ordered a small brunette from Urishatan, a small village in Outer Mongolia. Wow, she was cute and liked to cook. More importantly, she was clearance priced at 75% off with free shipping. You can’t beat that.

Don’t Order A Strange Woman From A Catalogue

Warning. Mail order women at clearance prices are not a bargain. When my order arrived, she was not a young, cute brunette. I opened the door to find a wild-eyed she-devil with bright red frizzy hair, muscular arms, tattoos on her neck, a slight moustache and a big silver nose ring. Did I mention old and wrinkled? Whatever kind of jails they have in Outer Mongolia, they were probably missing an inmate.

I’m not sure how she found my cabin as there is no other way here but by plane. I did notice she had a broom with her, so that must have been how she got here. She took one look at the interior of my cabin and proceeded to curse loudly in Urishatan waving those big, muscular arms around. Then she pulled a big piece of dried whale blubber out of her back pocket and started chewing on it.

Temp Car Insurance Saved Me From Eating Whale Blubber

When it comes to returning bad merchandise like a whale blubber chewing mail order woman who looks like an escapee from a prison circus, nothing beats the help you get from temp car insurance.

Park rangers don’t need cars around here. I walked my mistake back to the main National Trust shop, borrowed a car from the supervisor and arranged some short term car insurance to cover the trip to the airport. Temp car insurance saved me from bridezilla. I had to pay a bribe to the supervisor to make up for the scent of whale from the car.

Stay Single, Be Happy

Rangers, stay single. Hotdogs and baked beans aren’t so bad. If you see something you like in a catalogue, don’t do it. I was lucky. I was able to return my order. My heart goes out to the thousands of Derbyshire men who will be eating whale blubber tonight and getting their backsides kicked from their mail order bridezillas.

Copyright 2011. is a trading style of Prudent Plus Ltd of Booths Hall, Booths Park, Chelford Road Knutsford Cheshire WA16 8GS, which is registered in England, company number 10104295.
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